Erik's 2 year checkup (Thursday Feb. 5th)

Erik has been enjoying his "new" room ever since we found out I was pregnant. We moved him across the hall right away (and into his big boy bed) so that it wouldn't be such an adjustment to have a new sister and a new room all at the same time. He adjusted well to leaving the crib...now it's just the potty training that we have to nail! I don't think he's quite ready because he still doesn't stay dry for long periods of time. As soon as I notice that, I will be putting all of my time and effort into trying to get that started before the big arrival. I would be so excited to have him fully potty trained by June (he'll be 2 1/2) but we'll just see how that goes.




He had his two year checkup with his pediatrician on Monday. What a nightmare. He got a stomach virus over the weekend --which we think he picked up when we were at a restaurant and a child threw up at the table next to us. When we went in to see his Dr. he got very scared and was clinging to me and screaming and crying. His Dr. was trying to do the examination, but Erik was not cooperating. He was shaking and I think he remembered his last visit, which was 2 weeks ago, when we had to hold him down for the Dr. to look at his eyes(he had pink eye). Well, again we had to hold him down...picture this: he's laying down, my left arm is over his legs, my pregnant belly is over his stomach, my right arm is holding down his arms, Dr. C's right arm has his head in a lock to keep it still and he has a wooden stick in Erik's mouth with his other hand. Crazy. When the Dr. put the stick in his mouth to look down his throat, he gagged and threw up all over himself, me, the Dr. and the exam table. By this time, there was no use in trying to finish the exam.

Erik was hysterical and I thought the worst was over. Wrong.

Dr. C starts asking me questions about the way I handle him at home. I told him that he is a calm and happy child and that occasionally he has normal two year old fits (nothing like what had just happened in the exam room!) He crossed his arms, threw back his head, and smiled at me. He said, "You mean to tell me that he does not have temper tanrums?!" I told him that he may have a few on occasion, but nothing out of the ordinary for a two year old and that he honestly does not give me much trouble. I told him that he is shy around strangers and that he doesn't like for people he doesn't know to touch him. He shook his head and proceeded to tell me that I need to start telling him, "no" and that I need to be more firm with him. He said that he was concerned about his behavior and reaction to other people. He also said that when he cries like this I need to ignore him. (In certain situations this may be appropriate, but CERTAINLY not right after he had just been held down on a table and gagged! He was scared for his life!)

I was shell shocked. I wanted to argue with him and tell him that I know exactly what I'm doing with the way I discipline and in my parenting and that there is NO need for concern. I wanted to tell him that I dedicate my entire life everyday to raising Erik to be a well behaved and loving child, not to mention I was a Preschool teacher for 4 years with TWO year olds (3 of which were at one of the best Pre-schools in Lafayette--actually it was voted the Best of Acadiana) [Edit: This is not to say that I know children (in general) better than a Pediatrician, but I am confident in the way that I parent.] I also wanted to tell him that he is in no place make judgment on me as a parent from this incident. Erik was SCARED and SICK. Period. He never ever ever acts like that anywhere else. I stood there with vomit all over me, holding my screaming child, in total disbelief.

Dr. C looked at me and said that there was nothing else that he could do with the way he was acting, gathered his things and started to walk out of the room. As he was leaving, Erik stopped crying and looked at him and said in his sweet soft voice, "Thank you." Dr. C shut the door and I started to cry. I felt very insulted. Still the worst was not over. The nurse walks in and says, "Why does he get so upset?" And before I could answer she says, "Oh. That's right. He's been like this since he was a baby."HAVE THEY NEVER SEEN A SCARED AND CRYING CHILD IN THEIR OFFICE BEFORE? Erik cannot possibly be the only one!!! I didn't answer her. I just helped her clean up the throw up in silence. I was ready to go home. Then she tells me that he needs to have his finger pricked and his blood taken to check for anemia. Wow, what a good idea. Send a mother and hysterical child who are both covered in vomit to a sterile lab to get his blood squeezed out of his finger. I can do this.

So I go down to the lab with the papers that I was given and give them over to the Jerk. I mean the man in the lab coat. He shoves the papers back in my hands and says, "Who's PETER?" I say, "Excuse me?" and he says, "Unless he's Peter, you gave me the wrong papers." It wasn't what he said, it was the way he said it. I took the papers back to the front, (all while Erik is still crying and we are full of vomit) waited in a room full of people to get the right papers, then marched back to the lab. The lab guy should not be working with humans. He looked like he had never once smiled in his life and he was SOO rude. I sat down with Erik in the chair and he poked his finger, squeezed some blood out of it, and was trying to get it to go perfectly in two little circles on a paper. Then he had to squeeze it to get it to puddle onto hole in a stick. Tell me...what child would be excited to do this? What 2 year old would not cry and wiggle for freedom? He starts yelling at Erik (good move) and telling him that he's going to "poke you again if you don't stop your screaming and crying." Um. WHAT is WRONG with these people? He is twisting his arm and squeezing the blood out for at least a minute. Longest minute ever. I am trying to hold Erik's other arm down and keep him from sliding out from my grip, but was having immense trouble. Jerk Face tells me, "You HAVE to hold him still." I wanted to grab the needle from him and poke him in his eye. Seriously.

So, that was not a good day. I was questioning myself as a parent and the behavior of my child because of these people that see him a few times a year--in a scary (to him) environment no less! Even though this was unpleasant, I do want to look at the positive side of things. I have always liked Dr. C (and still do) and the nurse (but Jerk Wad is a whole other story) and I know that Dr. C was just doing his job in asking those questions. I just wish I could have made it clear that I was not one of those mothers who are in denial about their child's behavior. I really think that he thought that I was. As I was talking I was kind of wondering if maybe I was. I have since been reassured by my family and friends that Erik is not abnormal in being shy with strangers and having strangers poke and prod him and that some children just don't like the Dr. I feel like I should have been reassured in some way by somebody at the Dr. office that other children his age go through this.

The good thing that has come of this is that I came to the conclusion (with the help of an honest friend) that Erik needs to be with others without me once in awhile. He has only been without me a handful of times and it's only been with my mom or Chris' mom (and once or twice with my Dad and step-mom). If he and I (and/or Chris) are at a friend's house (or anywhere other than home or with family) and we walk out of the room or outside he does get very upset. I don't think that this is abnormal, but I do want to help him to be more independent. Not completely (he is just 2 after all) but just enough for him to feel secure. So the solution to this is that we are going to start putting him in Children's Church on Sundays and I will be dropping him off once a week (or at least every other week) at a friend's house while I go run errands, or go do whatever. My friend that will be with him has a son that is close in age with Erik and her son will also be with him at children's church. I'm hoping that this will help him to feel like he can relax when I'm not around, and also when he is in a situation (like the Dr.'s office) that he will handle it a little better. I know it will take time, but it's not like I'm in any hurry to make him completely independent of me. There are many years ahead of him for all of that. I mean, if he's still crying when I leave the room when he's 14 then I just may take that Dr.'s advice and take him off of my hip and ignore him ;)

...and believe it or not...this has all been the easiest part of my week.





Poor Erik was sick all week. He was excited that we had a family slumber party in the living room every night though!!